


The colour of hope is black

by SpookyStar29



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:30:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyStar29/pseuds/SpookyStar29
Summary: A version of how I would’ve liked the X-Files to end after the screen went blank and left us all with questions … with a maybe unpredictable aspect in it.Everything what happened in the series happened in my story to – I just made a happy end out of that. I really have a plan.Short: Scully and Mulder find Skinner and Monica. William plays a big role in this story too, he’s not an asshole, I love him for what he’s doing and there’s gonna be a reunion with familiar faces …





	1. My last thoughts

Her hands felt sweaty and her heart was pounding faster than it did when she was chasing a suspect. She prayed for him he would be fast enough to draw aside. She saw his face, but he didn’t see her. Maybe.  
She didn’t know.  
He probably didn’t even see that bastard with his cigarette in his hands sitting next to her.  
„I won’t do that“, she had told him. She had almost yelled it. „You must“, was is answer. Just that. She felt like screaming. She’d love to punch him out of that car and drive him over. Four, five, or ten times. Until his body would be ingrained into the ground.  
She had thought she would do the right thing. She had thought she could protect them, and maybe she did. But she hadn’t got a chance to tell them, especially Scully, what she was doing. She had dissapointed them. Her only friend, the friend she was desperate in seeing again. But it was just a wish – a beautiful lie which had made her cry so many times she couldn’t count it anymore. She didn’t know if Scully and Mulder realized she always had been on their side, despite what she was doing. She didn’t know.  
And she would never find out.  
She knew it that moment when Spender stepped on her foot on the accelerator and made the car to rave towards Walter Skinner.  
She knew it when she saw how this man, whom she appreciated, who had their back, raised his gun out of fear. The last thing she saw was his face, full of panic. She had dissapointed him too.  
She knew it when she felt the bullet knocking in her forehead and the unimaginable pain shooting through her body. But that was just for a second.  
She couldn’t even scream. It went too fast.  
And then she was calm. She didn’t resist. Because she knew it was over.  
She believed in reincarnation, but for once in her life she didn’t want to live again. Her only aim had been to protect Scully and Mulder. To see her friend again, even if it would have been for just one last time. One time to have the opportunity to tell Dana Scully what she meant to her. To tell her she wanted to protect her.  
She just wanted to see the man who had her heart, the one she had lost contact to since the X-files had been closed many years ago. Had he been thinking about her?  
She didn’t know if there was a heaven, but if it would be, she just hoped she’d lose her memory.  
All these thoughts were racing through her mind for just one second. And then, the darkness came over her, lured her in, almost comforting – like it would be her only friend by now.  
And Monica Reyes‘ subconsciousness knew that this was the only truth for her anymore.  
And hopefully, this truth finally would set her free.


	2. Why.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo  
> That's the real beginning of the Story.

Scully’s head was an empty space. She felt so many things she couldn’t name one of them, so she decided not to think about it at all. It felt like all amounts of adrenalin had been gone.  
All she knew was that she was crying. And she was shivering. And she knew that someone was holding her, tight, like an armour, like a protector. And Scully knew he was one. He has always been her safe heaven, her touchstone, how he had told her once. He was the only person left whom she could trust, whom she loved, with whom she went through so many things it hurt if she thought about it to often.  
She loved Mulder, even if she didn’t speak it out. And she knew he loved her too. They didn’t need words in situations like this.  
Scully was sad. She was angry. She was desperate. God, there were so many emotions which could describe her right now. Something inside her even told her she should be thankful.  
Mulder was alive. She was alive. The smoking man – hopefully – was dead. She was carrying a child inside her, Mulders child. And this time she was certain about that.  
She didn’t know how long they were standing there, on the dok, in the insulating light only provided by some street lights. She just realized at some point her tears were used up and she was just standing there, staring into nothing, her head against Mulder’s chest and feeling his heartbeat.  
Suddenly she felt his hands roaming over her back, comforting and caring. „We should get out of here“, he whispered. Scully nodded, glad he made the first move.  
They didn’t talk when walking back. There arms just brushed together from time to time, as if he tried to reassure her he was there. But that wasn’t necessary. She knew he was there. He had always been – even while hiding in New Mexico she always felt a connection.  
She was thankful he didn’t ask her about the baby right now. It would have been to much. To many emotions. 

Just a few seconds later another emotion hit her. Scully suppressed an outcry as she saw the devastation spreading in front of them. It was chaos. Destruction. But her attention suddenly drifted away from the bullett-holed walls and other demolitions as she saw the car. Or better – two legs pointing out from under it. Scully’s heart jumped. As if in slow motion, she groped for Mulder's arm, unable to move.  
"Mulder." It was barely more than a whisper. "There ... there is someone.“ He stopped in his tracks, following her stare. For some moments neither one of them spoke a word. Then, finally, Mulder’s feet started moving. Like a trigger Scully reacted to his movement. While they were rushing towards the scene, she took out her phone and dialed 911. She was getting more and more anxious with every second, but finally, someone answered.  
„Hello?“  
„Here special Agent Dana Scully, I’ve got a very probably injured person, maybe car accident. It looks like he had been run over.“ She was glad she didn’t stumble over her own words, at least her mind was clearer than she thought. She told the man the adress and he confirmed.  
„Just move him if necessary. Try to stay calm. We’ll be there in minutes.“  
Calm. Of course. Scully was everything but calm. At least her professional and rational brain took over now – otherwise she would have been unconscious on the floor just minutes ago.  
The shoes seemed familiar to her, but she couldn’t put them in the right box of memory. Her mind still felt like spinning and she tried hard to focus, but everything felt blurred. Until suddenly she heard Mulder gasp.  
„Oh my god“, he panted. He just shot her one look. His eyes were ful of anxiety. „Scully, it’s Skinner.“ The realization hit her like a gunshot. Of course. How could she forget about him? They had left him there, he had told them too. As she felt panick overwhelming her, she did what she always did – she concentrated on her task.  
„Sir, can you hear us?“ She was sure he didn’t, but nevertheless she tried. Then Scully just made the attempt to bend down as Mulder held her back.  
„Let me“, he said. „You have to help me get him out.“ She knew this wasn’t the reason. She knew he didn’t want her to do that because now he knew she was pregnant, and Scully didn’t fight back. This wasn’t the time for patting her ego.  
Mulder leaned down and already was halfway under the car when Scully felt a pull in her stomach. Slowly, she straightened again, and for some unconscious reason her eyes started wandering around - when she saw something else. The front of the car that hit Skinner was shattered, broken pieces were laying on the ground and on the engine hood. But that wasn’t the reason why Scully's heart stopped for a few beats. Someone was sitting behind the wheel. And she reacognized her. She would recognize this face among thousands.  
She barely realized Mulder telling her Skinner had a pulse. Suddenly she felt like everything was crumbeling down. Again.  
„Monica.“ Her voice sounded shallow and like death. She had no idea if Mulder had heard her but she didn’t care. Slowly, with legs that felt like jelly, she made her moves towards the front seats.  
As she was taking a look inside through the lowered windows, Scully felt like everything inside her was cramping.  
Her usually sunlight hazel eyes where empty and without any glow. Her skin was pale like ashes and her darkbrown hair seemed tangled. Her lips a thin line without any emotion - like it had never been. There had always been something in Monica’s face, even if it was just that she was thinking about something. She knew the reason.  
The single dark spot on her foreskin and the sprankeled blood were the only confirmation Scully needed. Headshot.  
She was a doctor. The possibility to survive a headshot wasn’t high. Especially when the bullet hit right between the forehead. It had. Almost between her eyebrows.  
But Scully didn’t want to except that. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t. That couldn’t be true.  
She reached out, her hands were trembeling, to touch the spot at Monica’s throat were one could feel the pulse. She held her breath. She waited.  
1 … 2 … 3 … 6  
Nothing.  
Scully felt tears arising in her eyes. No, she thought. No, this couldn’t be.  
9 … 10 …  
Still nothing.  
Scully felt like screaming. This just couldn’t be, this wasn’t happening.  
But it was. The rational inside of her, the bigger part than the emotional one, knew it.  
She stared into Monica’s face, into those eyes which weren’t the same anymore. Those eyes which she wouldn’t ever see sparkel again. This voice she would never be able to hear again.  
Scully took her fingertips away. Softly she placed them on Monica’s eyelids and closed them. It was silent. A deadly silence. A silence which made everything worse.  
Scully stepped back, seeing Mulder standing beside her, watching her, watching Monica, then looking back towards her. But she just stared at her friend. Her former friend. The friend she should have had, but in real life never admitted or even accepted as the person she had been.  
„She’s dead.“  
She never knew that one’s own words could cut deeper than a knife.  
And she felt like her heart had just been shattered into such small pieces not even Mulder would ever be able to bring back together.


	3. Lost chances and new hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, emotions are Always requiered :)
> 
> But trust me - I really have a plan!

„Mulder, she’s dead.“   
She sounded more terrible than Skinner was appearing. Because this time her voice was braking. He knew Scully long enough for knowing when enough was enough. And now she had reached that point. He turned his head, trying to look sympathetic and strong and not how he actually felt. The redheaded woman closed her eyes, a single tear escaping. Mulder pressed his lips together, trying not to look at the former agent again. But looking at Scully was just as painful. A sob cut throught the silence which made Mulder’s heart ache. Scully, putting her hand over her mouth, turned away. He knew she didn’t want to be held right now. When Scully wanted to be hugged, she hugged first. It wasn’t ever something different.   
Now he had to be the strong one. He always pretended to, but he wasn’t. Not really. 

He took a step forward. He needed all his self-composer not to turn away. There had been much more terrible cases, of course – but it never contained someone that close.   
He didn’t know Monica Reyes much – he just had worked on one case with her – but according to what Scully had told him and what they had discovered in the past year, he felt a hole arising inside.  
This woman had saved Scully’s life, William’s life, and possibly his own too. He owed her so much. They both did. And yet, they had mistrusted her. After everything she had done, it still wasn’t enough. And now she was dead. 

Fuck the rules. Mulder reached out and touched her hand which was laying lose on her thigh. She was cold as ice. Her manicured but not painted fingernails seemed more alive than herself. Something inside him was in desperate attention that her hand would move every second.  
But it didn’t. Because she was dead.   
He could only imagine what Scully must be feeling. And he wouldn’t want to.   
Mulder closed his eyes and concentrated. He concentraded on his memories of Monica, her smile. Her eyes. Those eyes he wasn’t familiar with, but those eyes he knew which had been ful of light and altruism, full of softness and devotion.   
„I’m sorry“, he spoke in his mind. Hopefully, her spirit was out there. Maybe her soul was still stuck inside her body, somewhre. „I’m so sorry for what happened.“  
He almost waited for a sign, the wind, a whisper, anything. But nothing. 

„This is … this isn’t fair.“ Scully’s throaty voice brought him back. His eyes snapped open. He turned around, letting go of Monica’s hand, placing it on her thigh again. He turned around only to look into Scully’s big, blue, watery eyes. He hated seeing her like that.   
„She just wanted to save us, Mulder. Us and William. She sacrificed herself for us.“ She nodded her head, slowly. "How could that be the end?"


End file.
